Monday, November 03, 2003

Halloween's For Lovers: Halloween in NYC hasn't been for the kiddies in a long time. Gothamist reports that a significant number of kids stay home from school to avoid getting pelted with eggs by their wicked classmates. The Halloween parade has long been dominated by not-so-family friendly types.

This is not particularly troubling. In fact, it's a relief from the continuing trend toward the juvenilizing of our culture. Every week the censors announce another thing we can't do because it'll teach the kids bad habits. Something's got to give somewhere, and why not Halloween?

The debauching of Halloween was on full display on Craig's List today, when some poor lass posted her "Thankful MC with the Worst Lay Ever." There's plenty of horror in the post--names forgotten, doors unlocked, unnecessary compliments, drunkeness, unknown substances slathered without invitation--and then there is this:

Your cell phone rang. As you ineptly tried to masterbate me, you sat up, looked at the phone to see who was calling, all the while keeping up your ridiculous, "oh, god....oh, god..." I will make mention that again this happened in the dark. If I have ever had a hot desire for male meat more purely extinguished, I can't remember it. I distinctly suspect you were sending a text message.

The expected response was not far behind when one poster responded: "You dirty Slut...you filthy hoe..." and so on.

This provoked Thankful's defenders:

Your clear problem with this woman's sexuality is disturbing.

i'm sorry that dirtbags like him give the rest of us a bad name.

Why so hostile? Is the story hitting a bit too close to home? Been there, done that, to your eternal embarrassment... is that it?

The original poster even responded herself. (Oh, just go look yourself, I'm tired of cutting and pasting the links.)

The final word was had by someone who figured out just what was motivating all the lonely Craig's Listers to leap to the defense of Thankful:

Almost as funny as the original post are the follow-on postings from guys who clearly haven't been laid in years. Here is a summary of their thought process:

1. This girl is funny; she also has sex with strangers
2. Hey, I'm a stranger - maybe she would f*ck me!
3. But wait - she will clearly not respond with the usual 'let's f*ck' proposition
4. Maybe if I seem very sensitive, and respectful of female sexuality, and throw in a few bits about how literate and funny she is, but NOT explicitly tell her i want to f*ck, she will contact me! Yes, passive aggressiveness ALWAYS works when picking up chicks! (well not always, but it SHOULD)

(With apologies to Amy Blair.)