Manhattan Transfer

Liz Smith Loves Taki: Using my extensive contacts in the publishing world, I have obtained the latest issue of The American Conservative. Got to page 2 before I was stopped dead in my tracks by a love letter from the New York Post's Liz Smith to Am. Con. editor Taki Theodoracopulos:

Dear Taki,
I appreciate your generous lead-in the your piece, "Slander & Its Uses", and I am sorry if I hurt your feelings. I was using this ridiculous call as a kind of barometer of the idiots out there. It reminded me of the best slander ever uttered about me--Bobby Zarem writing to Robert Mulholland of NBC that I had had a woman killed. After that absurd attack, I always felt safe from Zarem's meanderings. I realized nobody could take him seriously.

So the repetition of that slander was to show reductio ad absurdum. I don't think anyone believe you and Mr. Buchanan are neo-Nazis and anti-Semites. And you are incorrect. My calls are answered by whoever is in the office--Denis, Mary Go, Diane, or Liz. "Screened" isn't the word. We are in the phonebook as M.E. Smith. People call us all the time screaming and carrying on, and we rather enjoy it. I wish you did not want to make for of this than was intended. Writing of Mel Gibson's movie, I recall we received many calls and letters accusing us of anti-Semitism. We printed that accusation against this column and against me as well.

I am sorry that holding the anonymous caller up to ridicule upset you. My point was that the remark was so bad it was good. These callers always hang up before they can be engaged in meaningful argument. Listen, I love you. I admire you.

Liz Smith, New York, NY.

I'm putting this in the unreality file along with the joint television appearances of Vince Gallo and that blond conservative girl.