Monday, April 12, 2004

One Week, Minimum. Obvs. Bridget Harrison goes to a party, meets a guy, gives him her phone number and has a lingering goodbye with him. [Ed. What's a lingering goodbye? I think it means she blew him in the stairwell.] Then our Bridget proceeds to go crazy for the next four days waiting for him to call her.

Listen up, ladies. Unless you've woken up beneath him in a motel room, no man should ever call you earlier than one week after you first met. That's right. If you've not been undressed in his presence, he shouldn't call to chat, he shouldn't call to say it was nice meeting you, he shouldn't call to ask you out. He should not call.

If he does call there is something wrong, desperate, awkward about him. Even if you think it's nice that he called, you aren't going to like him because you'll smell his hunger and it will turn you off. Eventually you will hate him.

When he calls you sometime after one week has passed he should not linger on the phone. He should say exactly four things:

"It's [_________] from [______] the other night."
"Do you want to go to [________] with me on [_______] night?"
"Great. I'll see you at eight."

Anything more and he's a nervous little bugger who doesn't know when to shut up. Eventually you will hate him.

Again, the rules are different if you are already sleeping with the guy before you've already been on a date.