Friday, June 11, 2004

How Long Has This Been Going On? Holy crap! Earlier this week I made a horrifying discovery.

Scene: Times Square at dawn. Two old friends stumble through the traffic-free streets.

Me: "What time do the liquor stores open up?"

Her: "Are we out of Jamesons already? Fuck. I don't think they open for at least another hour."

Me: (pointing at the crowd in a Times Square park): "Holy shit. What the fuck is that?"

Her: "Probably a concert."

Me: "It's seven thirty in the morning. What kind of concerts go on at this hour?"

Her: "It's probably for one of those morning television programs."

Me: "Heh. Morning television."

Her: "Are you serious? Good Morning America? Today? Katie? Matt? Goodday New York?"

Me: "No, nay, nada. They've really got television on in the morning?"

Her: "This is unbelievable."

Me: "I didn't even think television worked in the morning."

This morning I figured out how to use the remote control for my television, and flipped around. Turns out there is television in the morning, but it's all funerals. Who the fuck wants to watch that? You people begin your day with funerals? Not for me. Too depressing.