Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Performance Enhancing Drugs 

Not steroids and not viagra. I'm too perfectly at ease with my whiskey built physique to seek the former and too, uhm, excitable to have any of the problems requiring the latter (even under the extreme chemical condition that I all too often find myself in these days).

No. What I need is something to cure my chronic inattentiveness. I'm constantly distracted from things like girlfriends, dates, keys and my job. Pretty much everything except whiskey. If we all work together, I'm pretty sure we can build a better me throug ritalin.

If anyone knows any doctors or head-shrinkers who are, uhm, not too shy about prescribing the stuff, please drop me a line.