Monday, January 03, 2005

ManhattanTransfer v. 2004: The Rematch 

The Line Up.
2004: a lowdown, dirty, fast moving, evil and deceitful year. In his corner: capitalism, compassionate conservatism, Ohio, natural disasters, Michael Bloomberg, the Red Sox, and a world full of angry Muslims.
Manhattan Transfer: a dissolute reactionary on a downward spiral. In his corner: whiskey, decadence, tobacco, the Cellar and a crew of dangerous louts, brawlers and drunks.

Round 1.
2004 Explodes the financial economy in another ridiculously unsustainable boom with absurd sector-specific price increases and vast amounts of public and private debt.
Manhattan Transfer refuses to engage in any economically productive activity at all, won't pay taxes or do anything resembling work.
2004: 2
Manhattan Transfer: 1

Round 2.
2004 hands George W. Bush re-election despite the enormous fuck-up in Iraq by having a bunch of Massachusetts judges and San Francisco municpals make Ohio suburban Christians worry about "marriage" in the abstract when they should be focusing on their own particular marriages.
Manhattan Transfer responds by refusing to give a fuck about politics ever again. Again.
2004: 1.
MT: 1.

Round 3.
MT writes ridiculous book reviews for serious magazines.
2004 reminds MT that he carries way too much debt to survive as a freelancer.
MT Counterpunches with the Novel.
2004: 1
MT: 2

Round 4.
2004 Sends more and more of MT's friends away to jail, jobs, marriage and hateful.
Manhattan Transfer finds even more dangerous friends, with worse habits, who seem even less likely to succeed their way out of friendship.
2004: 1.
MT: 1.

Round 5.
2004 Shuts Down the Village Idiot.
Manhattan Transfer discover the Cellar.
2004: 1.
MT: 1.

Round 6.
2004 Crushes Every New York Sports Team. The Red Sox Win the World Series.
Manhattan Transfer responds by refusing to give a fuck about sports ever again. Again.
2004: 1.
MT: 1.

Round 7.
2004 exposes the darkness at the heart of, uhm, MT's heart.
Manhattan Transfer gets blindsided, knocked-down but not out.
2004: 3.
MT: 0.

Round 8.
2004 gets drunk and dies on December 31.
Manhattan Transfer gets drunk and survives to fight another year.
2004: 0
MT: 4

Final Score
2004: 10
MT: 11. The Champion!