Thursday, June 02, 2005

Secret Agent Topples Democratic Government 

It used to be easy to forget that America sits on the side of the world that inspired the term banana republic. Our political leaders didn’t wear phony military uniforms. Foreign powers didn’t have much sway in our government. Control of the state wasn’t considered a birthright of a few powerful families. Conspiracies of secret agents didn’t topple governments elected by overwhelming majorities.

In light of the decision of Mark Felt to stop lying about being the source Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein decided to name after a then popular (and recently revived but still completely horrible) porno, I think it might be time to revisit Watergate. There are still so many unanswered questions. Take just one example. Woodward would signal that he wanted to meet with Felt by moving a flower pot from one end of his balcony to another? How exactly did Felt keep Woodward’s balcony under constant surveillance? Is this how the number two guy in our top domestic intelligence agency should be spending his time? How many other agents did he rope into his scheme to bring down the President?

Come to think of it, why should we trust Felt at all? He’s a spook who lied to the public for thirty years. Just because he’s come clean about being Deep Throat doesn’t meaning he’s stopped lying to us about other things, such as his motives and means for carrying out Operation Deepthroat.

Some one explain something to me. How are you people upset about the Supreme Court’s decision in 2000 when you’re totally comfortable with a spy launching an operation to unseat a democratically elected President? More and more I'm thinking that the only reason we cannot be considered a banana republic is that we aren't really a republic anymore. Does banana empire work?