Friday, November 04, 2005

Local Man Confused About French Rioting 

Ted O'Leary, a resident of the Lower East Side, expressed confusion over recent reports of rioting in France yesterday.

While sipping from his fourth pint of Brooklyn Lager at the Ludlow Street drinking den Local 138, Mr. O'Leary explained that he could not figure out why French youths were rioting in suburban neighborhoods populated by Muslims. "From the news reports, I gather these are football hooligans or something. But I cannot figure out why they are rioting in Muslim suburbs. Maybe they are racists, rioting because of high crime in those areas. Like the Ohio Nazis who rioted," Mr. O'Leary said.

The apparent source of Mr. O'Leary's confusion was news reports issued from the Associated Press and reprinted in many major newspapers. One recent report stated:

Rampaging youths shot at police and firefighters Thursday after burning car dealerships and public buses and hurling rocks at commuter trains, as eight days of riots over poor conditions in Paris-area housing projects spread to 20 towns.

Youths ignored an appeal for calm from President Jacques Chirac, whose government worked feverishly to fend off a political crisis amid criticism that it has ignored problems in neighborhoods heavily populated by first- and second-generation North African and Muslim immigrants

Mr. O'Leary doubted claims that the African and Muslim immigrants populating the afflicted areas were themselves were rioting, telling a reporter, "I don't think that can be right. Wouldn't the press just tell us that?"