Wednesday, November 26, 2003
This Modern Life Against Reality: One of the more annoying features about modern life is that we have to pretend to believe so many things that are unbelievable because they are not true. For instance, we're supposed to pretend that jokes about people with foreign accents and habits are not funny. Of course they are. Also, we're supposed to pretend that free-range food tastes better than the steroids-n-cages version. So it was nice to read someone admitting that the most popular turkey in America, the Butterball, tastes much better than the politically sound alternatives.
Tuesday, November 25, 2003
Friday, November 21, 2003
KGB Pill Haiku
Chalk white little pills
Glasses of murky poison.
Morning came too soon.
The gold-toothed tranny
bats his lashes at Eurotrash.
The Path never comes.
Chalk white little pills
Glasses of murky poison.
Morning came too soon.
The gold-toothed tranny
bats his lashes at Eurotrash.
The Path never comes.
Where's My Head? If I lent it to you last night, please return it. I'm having trouble functioning without it today.
Thursday, November 20, 2003
Sully's Desk Job:
"Ugnh. I think I drank too much wine this afternoon."
Where were you?
"At my desk."
"Ugnh. I think I drank too much wine this afternoon."
Where were you?
"At my desk."
Wednesday, November 19, 2003
Paris Hilton Sex Tape:
Sully: I can't see it.
MT: Just stare at it. Your eyes will adjust.
Sully: Why does it look like that? Did they film in Iraq? Where's Jessica Lynch?
MT: So you see it now?
Sully: I can't see shit. I think it's like those paintings with all the little dots that supposedly become battleships and fighter-jets if you stare at them. That's bullshit. I've never seen fuck-all. I think it's a big joke just to make you stare.
MT: So, uhm, the Paris Hilton sex tape is a big joke on you?
Sully: Yeah. And I'm really pissed off about it.
Sully: I can't see it.
MT: Just stare at it. Your eyes will adjust.
Sully: Why does it look like that? Did they film in Iraq? Where's Jessica Lynch?
MT: So you see it now?
Sully: I can't see shit. I think it's like those paintings with all the little dots that supposedly become battleships and fighter-jets if you stare at them. That's bullshit. I've never seen fuck-all. I think it's a big joke just to make you stare.
MT: So, uhm, the Paris Hilton sex tape is a big joke on you?
Sully: Yeah. And I'm really pissed off about it.
Losing Touch: I'm so involved with contemporary media culture I may be losing touch with the broader culture.
1. Yesterday on Gawker I read about a ranch called Neverland getting raided. Someone named Michael Jackson lives there. I was convinced that Jackson must be a magazine mogul or a famous author whose work had slipped my mind. (Oh, please, the King of Pop is so not part of contemporary media culture. Pop itself is now historical culture.)
2. Reading Frank DiGiacomo's article in the Observer today I came across this "When Vice President Thomas Marhsall said 'What this country needs is a good five-cent cigar,' he may have been imagining Britney and Paris." I thought: Whoa. They fired Gavin McGinnis from Vice!
1. Yesterday on Gawker I read about a ranch called Neverland getting raided. Someone named Michael Jackson lives there. I was convinced that Jackson must be a magazine mogul or a famous author whose work had slipped my mind. (Oh, please, the King of Pop is so not part of contemporary media culture. Pop itself is now historical culture.)
2. Reading Frank DiGiacomo's article in the Observer today I came across this "When Vice President Thomas Marhsall said 'What this country needs is a good five-cent cigar,' he may have been imagining Britney and Paris." I thought: Whoa. They fired Gavin McGinnis from Vice!
The End of Envy: It's the publication party for former-friend "Brad" 's novel (former friend because he's published his novel and our friendship didn't survive my envy). I'm telling Sully about D-Nasty's "I Would Like The Most Blinged Out Towncar Available."
Sully: "Holy shit. That's a perfect description of Brad's girlfriend--smells like nicotine and has Jimmy Hoffa in the trunk."
Ah. Sully. Melts envy instantly. I think Brad and I can be friends again now.
Sully: "Holy shit. That's a perfect description of Brad's girlfriend--smells like nicotine and has Jimmy Hoffa in the trunk."
Ah. Sully. Melts envy instantly. I think Brad and I can be friends again now.
Lost Umbrella: I left an umbrella in the West Fourth Street station, on the uptown F platform. No reward. If you find it, keep. It's going to rain tonight and I just thought I'd let you know where you can pick up an umbrella.
Tuesday, November 18, 2003
Yellow Dog Update: A week or so ago I began to suspect that the new Martin Amis novel, which was getting wolfbagged by reviewers, might actually be very good. I'm a contrarian by nature, and experience has taught me that even when my instincts lead me astray, being wrong and contrary is at least fun. So I was preparing to love Yellow Dog.
Now I'm not so sure. TMFTML has pointed me toward a Christopher Caldwell review which succeeds in defending the novel and making it sound both very porny utterly boring. I was hoping for The Elementary Particlesmeets Vanity Fair meets Everyone's Burning meets London Fields and Caldwell describes The Book of Virtues meets Real Sex, Part XIV.
Bah. Now I'll have to read the book myself and make up my own mind.
Now I'm not so sure. TMFTML has pointed me toward a Christopher Caldwell review which succeeds in defending the novel and making it sound both very porny utterly boring. I was hoping for The Elementary Particles
Bah. Now I'll have to read the book myself and make up my own mind.
Smoker, Drinker, Horse-Player: My journalist-mentor Tony sends a letter from England.
Awful about the smoking. I am definately not in NYC couldnt contenplate a pint without a cig. This is one area were I can join forces with thre pure rightists, when the do good liberals think it is their mission to force us to live longer etc.
I always made the case that as a smoker, drinker and horse player I was the most ecologically sound and the mostt heavily taxed.
Think about it, we degenerates of the habits only consume natural and replenishable resources, grain, water, tobacco etc. We keep horse in a grand stylke, if we didnt bet on them they would not exist, we are limited consumers of bullshit goods such as TV's sterios atc, since we spend so little time at home, we share those Items ala, juke boxes etc.
Even our consumption of the rain forests is limited since we share the same bar stool withother instead of the liberal home makers who have more chairs trhan they will ever have asses to sit on them more tv's than one pair of eyes can whatch, tons of plastice nonsens that goes into them. wE DONT HARDLY EVER COME INTO CONTACT WITH WASTED PACKAGING, SINCE OURE DRINK COMES IN THE SAME GLASS USED BY THOUSANDS, oUR CIGS DONT REQIRE PLASTIC SHOPPING BAGS ETCE ETC. (IGNORE THE CAPS, IT IS JUST MY CLUMSY FINGERS)
Thats another gripe, I think the button designers are from the effeet mob, thay make them so smaall we who have real fingers, stumps, bang two or more at the same time, mi9biles are the worst case of this.
back to ecology, the only case against us is that we exhale smoke. The acid rain etc dont come from smokers it is the factories providing for the indulkgent consummers, I guss it s okay if the chinese choke to death making snaekers for the healthy joggers etc.
An example in the UK, soon after returning I trook a double decker bus to our Lake District, a National Park, we had a 15min stop onb the journey during which the driver and I stood outside had smoked several. The irony, he and I were the only ones on the bus, as we approached the National park , as far as the eye could see there were cars crawling along, bumper to bumper, all beltching exhaust fumes, all driven by the environmentalist who insisted me ad the driver couldnt smoke on the bus. And so it goes on.
jhell if I dint smoke would they take me to court fore destoying my finger nails? See you have got me going.
To answere your question currently in Blackburn England, planniing to spen three months in Lithuainia, trying to do some good, but thats tough since all the programs are western driven and they dont take into account countries without the resources cant implement programs that in the west are fully funded from taxes collected from an advanced economy etc etc. Plus they would dream of thinking that those folk might have got anything righ.
A best example was running into a bunch of Scandinavians running an expesive EU funded program, to introduce walking to the poor of Latvia, Ok we in the west are so attached to our cars and stuff ourselves with more food than any body needs, so we haqve cardiac risks etc, but in the town where these folks were introducing the program, the number one transporttion is walking, and the folks have a problem getting enough to eat not too much.
Same goesw for western Gender programs, gender means "womens" when it cdomes for funded projects. They spend fortunes in the Former Soviuet Union, Dont seem to notice they had equal employment long before their western sisters woke up. Plus with the collapse of the Soviet system the most impacted are the men, since it is the heavy indust5riewl and date manufacuring jobs that have gone to the wall, what new jobs there are are in the service sector, where women are trhge majority. resiult alcholism and suiced has rocketed among the male population who have no hope oif work, lost their role as family head etc. But that doiont stop the western sisters from having their gender programs, which I repeat means womens programs.
When I go over there I usually spend most of my time fighting the highly paid Western consultants who aare happy to make their fees and dont givce a shit if what they are recomending will ever work. I go in a volunteer capacity, which means survival money, but a fredom to shout the truth.
Oh I dont apologise for my typo's I never mastered tipping, and I dont see the need to worry when eeeing froiends. Ask your mum and dad about when they wanted to sponsor me on a typing course, I was the first person employed by Newsday who couldnt type, used a yellow pad, they might recall I tried to get on a course at the wymca, but they wouldnt let me cause I was a fellow. Hope this gives you something to chew
on regards, --Tony
Monday, November 17, 2003
Emergency Underwear: I was a bit confused by something someone wrote in my "comments" section so I went to google to find out what "emergency underwear" could be.
--Dutch scientists have developed underwear that calls an ambulance if the wearer has a heart attack.
--From back in the day when we were all sure Y2K was going to, uhm, what did we think it was going to do? Anyway, here is Y2K Readywear: Underwear in a Can.
--Infrared rays make molecule movement so active that they activate the cellular function. So they faciliate blood circulation & metabolism, prevent from growing aging, soothe fatigues resulting from stress.
--Not sure what to make of this: work's going more smoothly - the days don't seem quite as endless as they first did. i got a rash on my ass from wearing g-strings (emergency underwear) so i finally did laundry yesterday. course, i'm still wearing the clothes i've been wearing for three whole days now - but i bathed tonight so i'm sort of clean. hmmm...probably shouldn't make mention of those things in public...too late. i've been dreaming of robots.